I find myself in a quandry these days. I'm in two different gears. I'm revving up for school. Taking a full load that if it doesn't kill me will make me stronger and getting my kids ready and off to school, yet I am finding that I'm in the winding down phase of my life. I am busy getting kids to school, but they are getting older. I no longer have an elementary school kid! NO MORE ELEMENTARY!! I am happy about that, I was tired of fund raisers, parent/teacher conferences, attending meetings just so we could see our child sing or play an instrument. I'm excited to get away from those new parents, you know the ones...they have to hover and hang around because they think little "What's his name" will not be able to function without them. Come on...any "old" parent knows it's all an act! Five minutes after you leave the tears are gone and they're playing with blocks and tormenting the other children. After close to 20 years suffering fools, teachers, principals, more teachers, crazy parents, and annoying front office staff, and those yearly teacher gifts... I can finally say, I am DONE, well-at least with Elementary school!
So, I have a middle schooler now, and along with that comes a whole new ball game, but I'm ready for it, been there done that, so it's old hat now. I'm still winding down though. I see that my kids are getting older again...it won't be long that the middle schooler will be graduating from high school. I just might get to be an empty nester, which I am looking forward to. BUT, if the kids keep coming back, I guess I'll be ok with that too. I'm getting older and realizing that things are slowing down in some ways for me and yet, it's getting busier.
My mother passed away this summer, and I think about her a lot and the things that she taught me. She was amazing and I think about my own kids and what kind of legacy I will leave with them. Will they believe I was amazing too? I sure hope so, I guess I just hope they don't hate me too much, for not doing the things they thought I should have. I am beginning to feel my age. I always thought that term was strange, but I do, I FEEL it now. My husband had to get hearing aids, yet he is still very active and keeps going, he seems too young to me to being getting hearing aids, that's an old man thing! He's becoming and old man I guess, and our wish for each other when we first took our vows to be wed all those years ago is coming true, we ARE growing old together, it's actually happening, it's not off into the distance anymore, it's here right now staring us in the face. So, I'm a little more wrinkled and gray, in a weathered yet comfortable skin. I like who I am and what the future holds. I'll be graduating from school in 15 months, I am revving it up now to go forward and see what is in store for me!
