It's interesting getting older, one tends to think it happens to everyone else! But, it happens to us too. Really it does, you can quote me...we all get older! Each hour of each day in each year the clock keeps ticking, the days and nights keep rolling by and we continually get older. It's boggling if you think about it.
I'm beginning to notice fine lines around my eyes, "crow's feet", what!? I don't have crow's feet, my mom has crow's feet! BUT, yah...I have them too. Funny, and not, at the same time! I have graying hair, and when they first cropped in, I thought great, something that shows I am mature, experienced, and OLD. I figured I'd be different, I'd embrace the gray, sure I did embrace it when it was just at my temples and my daugther said I looked like the girl from X-men. I was flattered, see- gray ain't so bad...until...I found more gray hairs in other places of my scalp! Now everytime I'm at a Target or grocery store I comb the hair colorant isle! Hmmm, should I go with reddish brown, or golden umber brown, or just forget it all and go with basic BLACK!? What will last the longest, and covers the most gray!?
I hate having to think about this stuff, hate it! Yet, here it is, growing old, staring me in the face, and the face I see is starting to sag and look tired. Now I understand why women feel the need for plastic surgery. I haven't gotten to that point yet, but who knows?
My parents are growing older too, and their health is getting worse, soon they will not be able to take care of themselves (and they're pretty close) and it makes me sad. Not just for them but for myself. Selfish, probably...but honest. Here I am finally getting a chance to do some things for myself. My children are older, two all grown-up, and two more becoming teenagers. and now I have to worry about aging parents. I was looking forward to these years. Going to school, spending more time with my husband...because when we were so busy making a life for ourselves and our growing family we didn't get to spend a lot of time together...and now we find ourselves having to take care of not only our children but our parents.
Nothing makes you feel your mortality like seeing your once spry and independent mother struggling to understand or hear what you are saying. Watching her illness take over her body and mind has been hard to witness. All of which makes you realize you're getting older too, and your kids will be looking into your eyes with dismay and wonder just like you are doing with your own parent. Better be good to your parents, I keep thinking of that "Cats in the Craddle" song...it's true, so true. Your kids grow-up to be just like you. Whether you like it or not. So be good to your parents, love them and care for them. Set the example so your own children may someday understand it and be willing to care for you. If you're smart, you'll have a plan though, so your kids won't have to fret over you.
I have noticed that with getting older, I am more calm, which is a good thing and a plus at any age. Issues and drama's don't bother me as much, maybe cause deep down I know time is growing short and why waste it on silly things that really don't matter. Or, it could be I'm just developing a new type of dimentia!
I'm finding myself wanting to eat dinner before 5 p.m and saying things when I get up in the morning like "Oy" as I grab my back and try to straighten up. I tend to look at the soft food at the grocery store just in case I may lose my teeth to dentures...I mean...who hasn't asked themselves if Ploygrip really is the best tenture paste? No, anyone?
Yup, growing older isn't pretty and not so much fun at times, but all in all, knowing that I have lived a good life makes me relish and welcome old age, as long as I'm still in my right mind and can walk upright when I'm 90! :)
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